A Lady of Reckless Abandon

A Lady of Reckless Abandon

     Think about what you know about me. Is this honestly a phrase that you would pick to describe me? I know that it is not one I would have chosen for myself. I am overly scheduled at times, relying way too heavily on my calendar to determine what I can or cannot fit into my schedule. I am careful and guarded about the people that I truly let in and those that I keep at an arm's length. I try to be careful with my words and actions. I have been known to be a people pleaser and to hide behind that all to easy to wear happy face that makes those who don't really know me believe that everything is just fine when in reality my world may be crashing in around my feet. Nothing about that screams reckless. However since starting to read Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones, I believe that a lady of reckless abandon is exactly who I want to become. 

    Society has put such stringent expectations on single women. By age 31, I should have a fabulous job making an income that would allow me to be self-sufficient without a husband. I should also be married to my perfect mate and have 2.5 children. By society's standards, I am a complete failure. I don't have a fabulous job making an income that would allow me to be self-sufficient. I most certainly am not married to an earthly man with 2.5 children.  However, I am not choosing to evaluate my life by society's standards. If that is the only weighing mechanism that I have to evaluate it with, I am going to end up depressed and seeking fulfillment in ALL of the wrong places. My fulfillment and worth cannot come from the presence of a ring on my finger. Nor can it come from a husband and children. If my fulfillment doesn't come from my heavenly Father, then nothing on this earth is going to fill that void. Trust me I have tried to fill that void with other things. The only thing you find there is more longing and an even deeper dissatisfaction with your current circumstances. For now I am allowing my husband to be found in God. There is no greater husband I can ask for. He is the only one that can truly meet all of my needs to begin with and when I fall more and more in love with Him, great things are sure to follow. 

     As I was reading, I was reminded of the story of the alabaster box. It caused me to stop and think. What is in my alabaster box? Am I willing to break that box at Jesus' feet? My box was filled with dreams of the perfect husband and family. Do they even REALLY exist? The answer was clear. The only person worthy of what is in my alabaster box is Jesus. He is the only one who can fulfill my wants, desires, and dreams. He is the one who will give me all I am searching for and more as long as I continue to be obedient to Him. In obedience I am breaking that box at His feet and watching expectantly for the ways that He will provide and meet my needs. It will by far outweigh anything that I have planned for or dreamed of. This is reckless in deed, for me at least. Giving up control of what I had planned and the way I wanted things to go, that is reckless. But this is a journey and the end goal is to become the best that God has for me to be. 

     I am reminded of the story of Ruth and Naomi. Ruth made the decision to follow Naomi wherever she went. She left behind familiar people, places, and even religion. She went into the unknown and reaped far more blessings from obedience than if she had continued to do things her own way. I pray that I am able to live in the same kind of reckless abandon as Ruth, making new friends, living in new places, and doing new things, whatever the Lord requires of me. Again this is going to be such an amazing journey, with results that are as of yet unknown to me, but "ancient history" to the Father of the universe. 

Until next time

~Melody~